First Entry, Captain’s Log…?

I might be young…ish… lol, but I have lived a very full life. I have always been very independent, so much so that my Mom told me that she and Dad used to let me go off and do my own thing and offered very little guidance. As a result, I have created a completely unique version of myself over a lifetime of solitary experiences, where I had to learn by doing things for myself And by myself. Perhaps this is why I am so fiercely independent and insistent on doing things my own way… I have never really known any other. I wish I had been given more guidance, however. I think it would have lead me to develop very different/better habits. (They also NEVER checked up on me to make sure I was doing my homework in high school… which I rarely was doing until the night before the test or deadline to hand in your finished work. Is it any wonder I became a free spirited artist? Lol)

I will say that lately, I met someone who inspired me a lot. This person seemed very disciplined and it really impressed me. As a result, I found it easy to commit to and make the changes in my life that I had yearned to make for decades. It really amazed me how much the influence of one important person can make in another person’s life. I don’t think that person will ever know how much they influenced me and improved me… well, maybe one day they might.

I also have returned to my habit of asking people for feedback on who I am as a person once something comes to light. I used to have a philosophy that we cannot know the entirety of who we are without feedback from others about their experience of us. I was criticized for traits in the past year that I did not see in my character. Perhaps I was just put off by this person only pointing out my weaknesses instead of being responsible and accountable for their own. In any case, I have taken time to reflect on this and ask my loved ones their opinion on these points. I learned a lot in only a few short hours, and I am glad to have a renewed perspective on myself.

I fully admit that I am not the best example of a social being. My restrictions growing up did not lend themselves to becoming adaptive to a social norm. We all can relate to that on some level or another, but I find I am very challenged by what is social norm and how I am, as they differ more often than not. I am a very different person than anyone else I have come across, but there has gotta be someone like me out there somewhere, right? Either that or someone who can at least appreciate the essence of who I am and who I aspire to be. Hopefully I will meet that person, somehow, some way, someday.

My reasons for starting this website are many-fold. I wanted to have ONE place where any one person could access ALL of my activities and stories. Because I enjoy doing so many different things, the umbrella gets ginormous. So, I am hoping that by having everything rooted in one place, my attention deficit will not be quite as evident, and my desire for people to know the true essence of who I am may lead to the understanding I have sought all my life. You see, I feel most loved when I feel understood. That is truly the best feeling in the world, don’t you agree? I have not met many, if anyone, who really understands me. I suppose most of us might feel that way.

As I started typing today, 5:55am actually, I realized that I had better get more organized with my stories. I do know this about me – my mind works very fast, and I can also type super fast. Basically, I type what I am thinking and have a tendency to follow a tangent or seven. Something about me: I am a very honest person. I used to be oh so blunt, but learned tact along the way. I do not always think before speaking, but I have definitely gotten better at that in the past year or so. What I am trying to express is that I just type what I am thinking and I am not planning what is going to come out. Isn’t that what blogging is? Or am I supposed to write the article/story somewhere else, refine it, edit it, and then paste it into this site? Ah well, I have never been much of a conformist, so I guess I will just continue like I am.

I thought I might play some piano for you on one of these pages… maybe I will get wild and create a, duh duh DUH, video channel! Lol stranger things have happened hahaha.

How was that for my first entry into a blog about myself EV ER?? Now that it is 6:33am, I guess I will carry on with my work day. I am currently in the last days of getting my new store ready to be open. It is exciting, daunting, a little intimidating, and inevitable. I love you. I believe in you. Have a wonderful day and thank you for sharing time with me.

Love,

Dawn